Black Market Ivory

Like our friend Jon Stewart said so eloquently on his final broadcast, “if you smell something, say something.” The scent on the wind today, friends, comes from the executives at Craigslist. They are standing beside policy that allows black market Ivory to be requested and purchased on their website. 
 
This decision (and ignorance on this magnitude is a decision) by the policy makers at Craigslist cannot be an allowed to stand. But let’s see how far their hypocrisy goes. Do you think there would be ANY hesitation in pulling down an ad for Poached Chicklets (that’s slang for ‘teeth’) from a Craigslist executive. (wink) 
 
The murder of the executive is not required, even though that would be analogous to the black market ivory trade experience. 
 
The infant children of the executive do not have to be left to die alone in halls of some air conditioned office building, even though that would better reflect the realities of the black market ivory trade. 
 
No, just teeth. Simply walk up to your nearest current or former Craigslist executive, including by proxy any eBay executives (that have purchased a 25% share in Craigslist), and punch them square in the mouth. Although brass knuckles will be effective at loosening teeth, peace officers are sure to frown upon their use. I’d recommend, after the first few punches, a good set of pliers will work much better at getting those black market Craigslist Chicklets free. 
 
Safety Tip: be sure to wear examination gloves while handling Craigslist executives. You just don’t know where they’ve been.

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